"Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all. "---Proverbs 3:5-12(Message)
"The desires of good people lead straight to the best, but wicked ambition ends in angry frustration."---Proverbs 11:23(Message)
"I went to my garden, dear friend, best lover! breathed the sweet fragrance. I ate the fruit and honey, I drank the nectar and wine. Celebrate with me, friends! Raise your glasses—'To life! To love!'"---Song of Solomon 5:1(Message)
Yep...
I know. I've been pretty quiet for about six months now and the plan is to remain this way until next summer.
That said...
I've been vocal about the fact that I know my calling is sex, marriage and the Sabbath---all deeply-rooted biblically-based covenant principles that, unfortunately, are (for the most part) poorly taught and modeled in so much of the global Church. Interestingly enough, around March, the Spirit (John 4:24) gave me the heads up that I would be in a "Shabbat season". I thought it meant I'd be studying more about the true Sabbath and all that it entails.
Listen, when Isaiah 55:8-11 tells us that God's ways are not our own...chiiiiiiiile. In May, literally all hell broke lose. HELL, I tell you! I'll spare the details yet what I am learning is A LOT about narcissism (especially when it comes to loving narcissistic people; some great info is here and here), codependency, PTSD (especially from childhood wounds and life choices I made as a result)---how I found myself in a lot of toxicity, relationships-wise, that I needed to take a break from, to heal from and then rest while I do some personal and extreme self-care. It's been hard. It's also been incomparably life-affirming. So much is shifting. Drastically-so. All for the better...no, the *best*.
However, because this does month does mark the ninth year since this blog started, I did want to share something that the Spirit lovingly shared with me earlier this month.
Whether you've been reading this "On Fire" since its inception or this is the first post you've ever seen, I'm BIG on marital covenant---on what *true monogamy* is, which is, by definition, one man and one woman being married to one another for a lifetime.
That said...
Over the years, I have received TONS of emails from women who desire marriage but can't seem to figure out why there seem to be so many obstacles, disappointments, challenges, problems, issues...it goes on and on and on as it relates to this one particular area. They have been frustrated at best, hopeless at worst.
Between my own self-work, the marriage life coaching that I do, watching some of my friends and reading the literal hundreds of emails at this point that have come through this blog, I realize that a healthy covenant truly does consist of ONE WHOLE MAN and ONE WHOLE WOMAN; that this Scripture rings true in the seasons of waiting and preparing:
"But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing."---James 1:4(NKJV)
I Corinthians 13:4 tells us that love is patient.
Matthew 19:19 tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves.
How in the world can we be equipped to love another (just as) flawed human being if we don't know how to be patient with ourselves and love ourselves---*first*?
There's a *brilliant* reason why this is such an important question that we each must ask---and answer.
My point?
Guess what the Hebrew word for covenant is? B'RIT.
Now guess what it means. ***drum roll*** TO SELECT THE BEST!
*I know, right?!* Do you know how many people, due to their impatience and a lack of self-love, DO NOT select the best when it comes to a marital partner?! 80-90 percent *easily*! Yet when marriage was first introduced to us in Scripture, *the best* is EXACTLY what Adonai had in mind:
"Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him."---Genesis 2:18(AMPC)
Scripture doesn't tell us that ADAM or the WOMAN decided who was BEST for them; GOD DID. And to him, the best individual was:
Suitable: such as to suit; appropriate; fitting; becoming
Adapted: to adjust oneself to different conditions, environment, etc.
Complementary: something that completes or makes perfect; something that completes or makes perfect; either of two parts or things needed to complete the whole; counterpart
BEST: of the highest quality, excellence, or standing; most advantageous, suitable, or desirable
So ladies, *this* blog? Even without my even really knowing it, is all about providing information and support in not just how to prepare for marriage but how to SELECT THE BEST! That takes time (Ecclesiastes 3). That requires spiritual discernment and maturity (Proverbs 2, Hebrews 5:2-14). That means not casting your pearls before swine (Matthew 7:6 & 13:45-46). It's about having some dateless seasons, turning down some opportunities that don't sit well with your gut instinct or the Holy Spirit's leading and knowing that BEST doesn't come along every day. BEST usually only comes once in a lifetime...oh, but it's sooooooooooooo worth it.
So, as I continue to take more time to embrace my season of rest (Hebrews 4) until I do return for the 10th year of this blog (which may be the last year actually...we shall see), please spend some time in what covenant means and, more importantly, what it means as it directly relates to you and the Spirit's plan for you and your marriage.
Because from where the Most High sits...
A marriage is truly a covenant...
When we settle for nothing less than being and also selecting THE ABSOLUTE BEST!
SRW
